The End of an Era: Last Call for Deana Bartenope After Hall of Fame Snub

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The Morris County Men's Bowling Association earlier this week announced its final selections for this year's inductees into the organization's prestigious Hall of Fame - but many feel it's a list that's one legend shy of being perfect.

"It's bullshit and we're not going to be quiet about it," exclaimed an emotional Allison Gomer during her interview with BreakingNews365. "It's worse than what they did to Piazza the first time he was up for nomination. And did we take it then? No. We lit it up. Me and my Dad turned Flushing into a war-zone. That's where we're headed."

"A lot of people think I'm one of the best bartenders in the place," bragged Marissa Tingoli, heir apparent to Rockaway's inner office. "Do you really believe I learned that from my Mom? Yeah right. Deana has been grooming me for this since I was born."

"We almost didn't hire Deana," said Dori Tingoli when given a chance to comment on her daughter's remarks. "Rich said her hair was too big and she couldn't even work a bottle opener. The bowlers love Marissa because of me. It's called genetics."

Carbon-dating analysis of Deana's employment papers suggest that she started in Spring of 1993. This same document mentions responsibilities mentoring and coaching a new, future employee scheduled to join Rockaway Lanes later that Summer.

Payroll records show no evidence of a new employee being hired in the Summer of 1993 - but hospital records show that Dori gave birth to her daughter, Marissa, in June of that year.

Coincidence? Deana doesn't think so. She made her frustration with the hall of fame decision public when she announced that March 24 would be her last night behind the bar she's adorned for the last quarter-century.

Sobs broke out on Friday night after she announced last call - but frowns slowly turned to smiles as Deana addressed her fans:

"Twenty-five years ago I took this job. I was a young kid then. But I became the best this place has ever seen. I've poured thousands of drinks and I've looked good doing it. Let her have the hall of fame. We all know who made the future of this place."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.