Spratt steals mats
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A 39 year old man Ryan Spratt has been remanded in custody following a theft of door mat incident. It was alleged that criminal mastermind Ryan Spratt removed over 10 door mats from various properties on the 20th of July between the hours of 11am and 2pm. The mats were traced to 5 roid muncher avenue where the notorious jobby stabber Jori Silver and his buff boyfriend Clare Mann were harbouring Spratt and the stolen door mats in the property. On police arrival Mr Mann was arrested without resistance and was covered in urine and naked. Silver attempted to jump out of the flat window sadly breaking both legs and is currently in hospital. Spratt made no resistance and whilst crying begged for forgiveness for his unforgivable actions. Trial continues 4th of August with witness Francis killadog taking the stand.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.