Local man Sh*ts in Pool.

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Local kids were left shivering and confused as a red alert was called by pool safety staff on Thursday 16th November at a public swimming baths in Oswestry, Shropshire.

At around 1830 at the local Oswestry leisure centre on Shrewsbury Road; Whilst public swimming sessions has just finished and "Rising 5's" swimming lessons were just commencing, guards were seen to be waving their arms in the air whilst blowing whistles asking all kids and toddlers to get out of the pool.

After around 15 minutes of the staff trying to sift out what looked to be a floating "Brown Slipper" with a large net; large quantities had broken off and had dispersed around the pool causing management to close the pool entirely leaving alot of children crying and upset.

Staff said suspicion first aroused when they saw a gentleman in the corner of the pool who would not get out when public swimming session had finished, and as the kids were getting into the pool we noticed he looked tense and his face was slightly red and scrunched up.
It was then when we saw a large object in the pool floating away from him and he pointed at the kids and said "not my fault"

When we asked him to get out the pool he said "you fukd me ova" and stormed off to what we can only presume to go and wipe his arse.

The suspected culprit is yet to be named but staff have released a photograph of the man and asked anyone that may know him to inform him that he in banned from the premises pending further allegations of cctv evidence of the man sniffing bike seats and breaking into lockers stealing leggings.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.