Young Man Goes Missing After Getting 2 Meets In 1 Night

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A young man by the name of Jamie Ivory has been reported missing in the early hours of this morning. Authorities state that Ivory was a shy young man who never socialised with girls. This led Jamie to form a sexual relationship with his two young dogs.

Friends of Jamie state that he began "texting" a girl from the Cabra area. When the pair went out they began to perform a ritual locally known as "meeting" . In this particular ritual, you place your lips together and in Jamie's case, spin your tongue as if its a washing machine.
Jamie did this ritual twice in one night which is a record as his previous volunteer was a soggy lampshade. Jamie was clearly ecstatic by this escapade and began to go absolutely mental due to the adrenaline rush. Friends of his state that " he legged it into the Hartstown Park and started humping the trees". This was the last time Jamie has been seen but there have been people calling in after seeing a crazed naked man with a shite beard legging it around phibsborough lane. If you have any sights or questions regarding Jamie Ivory call us at 0118999881999119725 3. or contact us on our webshite - www.chunksRus.con

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.