Brunswick Fair To Be Closed. Sharks and Volcanos To Blame?

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The Brunswick Fair, scheduled for October 27th, has been closed down, police say. Many resident say sharks and underground volcanos are to blame.

Just days before the exchange club opened the grounds, Spraynard Gerald, a ride operator from Melbourne, Fla, reported fins emerging from what he claimed to be a molten pire protruding from the field.

“I was just sitting there (at the operation booth) and I seen what looked like a saw blade coming up out the dirt... and there was smoke and fire... screams of the damned... it really made me think we should wait a day or two (to get started)”. - Gerald

27 year old Brandy Thrift of the American Red Cross also claims to have seen a river of lava emerging in the women’s room.

“You never think it would happen to you, I was so scared!”, she says. “I heard the voice of the devil and all the birds began migrating like I never seen them do in a bathroom before.... it was like the tile cracked and the ground split open and it got all hot... the (toilet tissue) caught fire. I prayed and I begged the lord... I ain’t never been so scared”.

These, among other reports from ride operators and bearded women, have multiplied within the last few days. Police, however, have an alternative explanation.

“I believe that many of these boys that they hire to operate the rides... well, they have a reputation for (illicit drug use). They’re dopers, and mad men see what they see...”, says a Brunswick police chief who asked to not be named. “And as for sharks coming out the ground... buddy, I don’t know what to tell you”.

Rhonda Howard, a life long resident of Suwannee Road, alongside the fair grounds, has something to say.

“I always knew there was sharks and volcanos out there, and when I was a little girl that was old Indian land. We wasn’t aloud back there on account of the lava, sharks and ghosts, not to mention the Indian massacres! We had to play in the marsh.”

The Fair is expected to schedule for next year.
The Brunswick News