Florida Man Has Trouble Understanding Socialism - HE GETS EXPLAINED!

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AP Wire
September 22, 2017

A Florida man, Larry Denyas, seems to be lured into click bait without understanding what he's actually posting. "I hate Socialism" repeats Denyas, as we caught him playing tennis outside at a publicly funded park, "socialism will ruin America. Just look at that man over there" as Denyas pointed to a millennial walking to work, "he wants Socialism".

When pressed, Denyas couldn't explain why the millennial was promoting socialism, and he seemed to overlook the irony of his next statement "Every day I drive on public roads, wave at the men in blue who help children in the crosswalks on the way to school and think 'I love America'". We pressed Denyas by reminding him that socialism is, by definition, using tax revenue to better the lives of citizens and police, military, public roads, and schools were all, by definition, socialist.

"Not in my book, they're not," said Denyas, as we all looked puzzled, "That's America! That's part of what makes us great, not socialism". We tried to reason with Larry and explain that he used social programs every day of his life, even if he didn't realize it. "The internet was invented by the military, the roads are funded by taxes, the CDC keeps pandemics from coming to your town and causing you to bleed out of every hole in your body until you die," said the millennial who overheard the conversation, "Just by existing in America, you are taking part in a social program"

"Do you want socialism?" asked Larry to the Millennial. "No, I like having these programs but I also appreciate what capitalism has contributed to our system. For example, once the CDC finds a disease, it's nice to have companies who will do research the cure. That's a balance of having a social system and capitalist system and it seems to mostly work". Larry could only reply "Communist" over and over.

"Furthermore," said the Millennial, "I just bought my first home in a neighborhood where many people are in their 20s and starting their careers. My neighbors home caught fire last week and the Fire Department, a social program, rescued a little kid inside. If there was no fire department, she would have died. Also, the family would not clean up their burned home and my property value would decrease. I'm happy to pay a fire tax".

Larry sped off angry. We don't understand why.

No one, not even liberals, wants socialism. We are perfectly happy with what we have.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.