Alabama Resident Charged With Murder And Retaliation

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Alabama Resident, Tanner Dooley, was faced with multiple charges earlier this morning.

When Dooley was arrested, he was found in the back of the police cruiser with handcuffs undone. Police swore that they had handcuffed him.

When officers opened the door of the cruiser, they reported Dooley yelling the name "Bailey" repeatedly. The raccoon lunged from its cage and jumped into the cruiser with Dooley.

At that point of time, Dooley was resisting, and becoming angry with the officers. Despite their greatest efforts, they could not contain him.

Dooley let go of the raccoon, that is presumed to be "Bailey." The rabid raccoon jumped at a group of 2 officers, shredding away and attacking.

All the officers were distracted with the raccoon, and Dooley grabbed the back of one officer's neck, pounding his head against the cruiser door.

He proceeded to knock out the remaining officers with a police baton, swinging it around, and thrashing his arms.

Police cameras inside the vehicle were recording him allegedly running out of the car and into the driver's seat. He floored it and sped down the road 7 miles until backup arrived, chasing him down.

During the encounter, 35 shots were fired into the cruiser, but with no result. Dooley seemed to have absorbed the bullets into his body, healing quickly. Nobody on the Eclectic Police Dept. has had any experience with people as powerful as Dooley.

Dooley then crashed into a nearby gas station, creating a large explosion, killing 27 and injuring 18. Afterwards, they could not find his body.

It is believed that Dooley survived the the blast, because they did not find any remains suggesting that he was deceased.

If you have any information regarding this man, Tanner Dakota Dooley, it would be appreciated to contact the Eclectic Police Department.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.