Man arrested running down street naked
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Springfield police arrested Kevin Cartwright around 3am Monday morning. Police say they got a call of a man running down Sangamon avenue naked screeming I have micro penis and I can't help it. The suspect was uncooperative at first but was subdued when he was offered a free lifetime subscription to gay porn. Police say Kevin then attacked them with a 12 inch dildo he had kiestered, a move he learned from the Kevin Hart movie "get hard", and had to be pepper sprayed before being transferred to St John's hospital for medical evaluation.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.