Dozens Of Protesters Looking To Ban Pinto Beans Arrested in DC. Nation In Chaos

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Dozens of protesters were arrested today, and charged with arson, disturbing the peace, destruction of public and private property and impeding travel, after setting fire to two grocery stores and a Taco truck in Washington D.C. They also smashed windows on dozens of businesses and cars and stopped traffic on several of the main thoroughfares. Thomas Rodriguez, a spokesman for the group calling itself ANPINTO, said the protesters are just in their cause, and that the protest was long overdue. "For years, we, the descendants of the Pinto people, have been subjected to ridicule by the use of our heritage and sacred tribal name to name, first a small horse, a crappy car made by the Ford motor company that often exploded on rear impact and a bean that is so common that it makes us look insignificant. This injustice must stop now!" Blaming people of European descent for the crisis that is splitting the nation, Rodriguez says he, and his fellow protesters are deeply offended by the bean and it's "racist roots". "We want an immediate ban on all Pinto Beans. Renaming them as another bean is not acceptable to us. We want them and all traces of their existence eradicated from the earth. Nothing short of this will do. We also want to rename the Pinto horse, the little short white horse. We will not stop until our demands are met." Rodriguez says similar protests are planned for Los Angeles, New York and Atlanta Georgia, as well as many other cities around the nation. "We are ANPINTO, and We will fight until our last breaths to see that all traces of this evil bean, this little horse and that awful car are forever gone."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.