SPECIAL REPORT: Sasquatch leaves Christiansburg in wake of coming eclipse.
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A sasquatch that was purportedly spotted dumpster diving in Christiansburg, VA a few weeks back is heading out of the hills, literally. Sightings confirm that the sasquatch is moving in an east to south easterly direction. There is no doubt that the bigfoot is relocating in light of the approaching solar eclipse. An expert noted that 'the sasquatch can be erratic at times and is sensitive to changes in the weather, climate, sun & moon'. 'Perhaps the sasquatch sightings (such as those recent) - were important in ancient times in predicting a cosmic event like the eclipse, which will occur across America this coming Monday, August 21st. As to where the sasquatch may be headed? The expert believes the beast will probably hunker down in a lake area for a spell. Stay tuned for developing news.
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