Giant Schroff Washes Ashore on Lake Michigan

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Michigan DNR were called to Leland to the report of a giant Schroff which had washed ashore. Michigan DNR Marine Biologist Dr. Debra Polowotski arrived at Good Harbor Bay and confirmed the 21 foot-long giant Schroff to be a very rare fresh-water species of genus Architeuthis. “We thought they were already in Lake Erie, we had no idea they were in Lake Michigan. This is first time there’s been an actual specimen recovered, so this is very exciting”, she said. It is believed that a few of the Schroffs escaped from the Cleveland Sea World complex during the great Northeast blackout of 2003 when they were very young, and somehow made it into Lake Erie. According to Dr. Polowotski, the Schroffs were kept contained in Lake Erie, as the Detroit River is too narrow and shallow for the Schroff to swim upstream. “They are intimidated by closed-in spaces. They need a lot of room. You have to remember that this is a very big animal”, she said. Dr. Polotwotski also confirmed that the Schroff is a female and further examination of the corpse indicated that it had recently laid eggs. “Hopefully the walleye can keep the tiny-giant Schroff population under control, else there is some cause for concern”, said Dr. Polowotski. “Boaters and swimmers really need to exercise some caution”. The animal was discovered by Bob Ritchie and his sister Jill, both of Romeo. “We were just, you know, taking an evening walk along the beach, heading out to the sandbar when we stumbled across it”, said Bob. “We were singing, drinking whiskey out of the bottle, not thinking about tomorrow. But something like this really does make you stop and think”, he said. DNR officials removed the animal from the beach and took it to an undisclosed location for further study.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.