Wooly Mammoth Found Alive!
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Somewhere deep buried beneath the ice in Tuscaloosa, Alabama a Wooly Mammoth was discovered after being unearthed from his 66 billion year slumber. As the Mammoth was awakened he let out a bellowing cry, witnesses say the cry sounded similar to a cross between a Skyway Bridge jumper and the sound of lathering a moustache with honey BBQ sauce.
After being taken into protective custody the Mammoth calmed down and was then tested for any diseases or unknown pathogens. After the results from the tests came back positive for Judaism, a known mental illness, the Mammoth was put down out of simpthy. The method of execution is a subject of controversy as the Mammoth was too massive for the cocktail of drugs needed for lethal injection, thus the beast was put down by starting an inteovenus flow of Reds Apple Ale until the subject began to violently commit and expel all bodily fluids in every corner of the room.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.