Giant Squid Washes Ashore in Amherstburg, ON

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Official in Amherstburg, ON were called to Willow Beach to the report of a giant squid which had washed ashore. Ontario Marine Biologist Dr. Julia Michaels arrived at Willow Beach in Amherstburg and confirmed the 21 foot-long giant squid to be a very rare fresh-water species of genus Architeuthis. “We thought they were in Lake Erie but we had no idea they were this big. This is first time there’s been an actual specimen recovered, so this is very exciting”, she said. It is believed that a few of the squid escaped from the Cleveland Sea World complex during the great Northeast blackout of 2003 and over the years become mutated from exposure to the Fermi II nuclear power plant creating their massive size. According to Dr. Julia Michaels, the squid were thought to be kept contained in Lake Erie, but some metro Detroit boaters have reported sights of the creatures in Lake St Clair. “My dad pointed to something in the lake last weekend when we were tubing and it looked like a huge squid or something”, Said 'Kyle' a frequent boater from New Baltimore, MI. Dr. Julia Michaels also confirmed that the squid is a female and further examination of the corpse indicated that it had recently laid eggs. “Hopefully the walleye can keep the tiny-giant squid population under control, else there is some cause for concern”, . “Boaters and swimmers really need to exercise some caution”. The animal was discovered by Barb and Dougg, from Redford, MI who were visiting family in Amherstburg. “We were just, you know, taking an evening walk along the beach, heading out with the dog when we stumbled across it”, said Barb. “We were going to look at the stars to find the big dipper and their it was. Something like this really does make you stop and think. It's bigger than the big dipper itself”, she said. Officials removed the animal from the beach and took it to an undisclosed research lab on Bob Lo Island for further study. More to come as details are released.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.