Not Washing Hands Now Punishable By Death
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Michigan lawmakers unveiled a new bill Friday morning to increase the possible sentence for not washing your hands after using any public or private restroom. The previous legislation allowed Michigan judges to hand out a maximum sentence of $100,000 or ten years in the state penitentiary. This new bill will increase that to include the death penalty, making failure to wash your hands Michigan's only serious capital offense, surpassing murder, rape, and jaywalking which held the highest punishments before now.
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This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.