New species of spider found in North Texas

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Scientists have discovered a new type of spider in North Texas. The Vehiculum Aranea Truncum Arthropoda, also known as the Texas trunk spider, is closely related to the Ctenizidae Arthropoda and measures to roughly three feet in body size alone and stands at two feet tall.

This spider is an ambush predator that lies in wait for prey to pass the vehicle it had made it's home in. Much like its cousin the Ctenizidae, Vehiculum Aranea spreads a small thin web just outside their trunk so that when an unwitting animal walks nearby the spider can pounce, strike and pull it's prey into it's abode for later consumption.

The venom for the Vehiculum Aranea is three hundred times more potent than the Australian bird eating spider, as found out by one of the discovering scientists who while passing an abandoned Toyota in Euless Texas was attacked and bitten.

"He didn't even scream..." his fellow researcher and wife told our reporters "it happened so fast and he was dead in seconds. I conceal carry so emptied my clip into it."

After the encounter more have popped up across the DFW and mid cities areas with growing frequency. From abandoned vehicles to vehicles that have been sitting for more than 80 hours.

Professionals advise caution when approaching vehicles that may show signs of occupation by Vehiculum Aranea. These signs are:
Slightly open trunk
Noises coming from within the trunk area
The presence of webs
Smells of decay

They tend to prey on things between 2-5.5 feet in height and have been reported near the domicile of a local radio DJ.

More on this new find as more research is discovered.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.