Trump Pardons Himself After He Passes Wind at KFC

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July 24, 2017

President Trump on Monday stopped in to the KFC on Pennsylvania Avenue to grab a quick lunch before the press meeting at the White House about health care. A loud toot expelled from his fat ass much to the dismay and disgust of the employees and other patrons who all either laughed, gagged, or left the establishment in horror.

The incident, according to the White House, comes nearly a week after Trump pressed Republican advisors to agree to an alternative to the White House chef, before taking an August recess.

At a White House lunch on Wednesday, he told lawmakers, “I don't think we should leave town unless we have antacids and anti diarrhea measures in place." Trump added, "We shouldn't leave town until this is complete, until the toilet paper, baby wipes and adult diapers are on my desk."

He also said Republicans who favor a delay in debating the legislation would signal that they are “fine with skid marks."

Trump is making an aggressive push on health care, in spite of the fact that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., has been unable to secure enough support to repeal and replace President Obama’s signature 2010 health care law. McConnell has said he is willing to repeal the law and hold a vote on it next week, but three Republican senators have already indicated that they won’t vote to bring it to the floor.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.