Giant elephant assualts Brian Staples aka. The Hammer
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This past Friday a large male bull elephant escaped the Fort Worth zoo and made it's way down seminary drive ending up in Mr Staples neighborhood. When Fox 4 report Saul Garza reported in an interview that the elephant had over powered and knocked Staples to the ground after a brief altercation. The altercation required immediate medical attention as a result of the injury. The treating doctor explained the backside of Staples was stretched to over 10" wide and when questioned that male elephant organs were long and slender, the Doctor replied that there is strong evidence that Mr. Staples was fingered before he was raped.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.