Disney to build new 'Alpine' resort in the Ozarks.

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Disney announced Tuesday that they plan to build a new luxury resort in the small Arkansas town of Eureka Springs. Kathlyn Oberhausen, Disney's attractions coordinator, said "Our concept is to create an immersive and authentic Alpine Village experience. It will be a premier family destination for Americans who can't afford to travel to the Alps."
Plans include a new 300 room hotel with a 'Beer Garden' theme, a world class spa with wood fired saunas and a five star restaurant that will be run by Michelin star awarded chef Dontè Alghéri. Also in the works is a multi-car gondola lift system that will ferry visitors from from the new hotel to the town's shopping district. As well as a new train track to connect Eureka Springs to Branson Missouri.
Local Christians however are protesting the decision to build the resort on the site of the current 'Passion Play' attraction. Eureka Spring's native Marlene 'sooie' Smith is leading the opposition saying "It's down right unamerican! They want to tear down Jesus to build a god damn hotel!" Referring to the existing 'Christ of the Ozarks' statue, the 65 foot replica of the 'Christ the Reedemer' statue in Brazil.
Oberhausen claims the statue is falling apart and needs to be dismantled anyway.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.