Brian Compton officially voted "Coolest Guy Ever."
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In an ABC News poll, Brian Compton was voted "Coolest Guy Ever." When asked for comment, his gorgeous wife Denee said, "I have always know this, but now it's proven to be true. It's why I married him in the first place." Last year's winner, actor Jack Nicholson was unavailable for comment. Nicholson's spokesman told us that Jack, "couldn't handle the truth." Brian was unavailable due to being off doing cool guy things.
The poll asked over 3,000,000 Americans of all ages, ethnicities, political parties and economic levels. With a margin of error of +/- 2, Compton won by a 97 margin, the largest margin ever. Coming in second was singer/songwriter Jon Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi will be writing a song about Brian which, insiders say, is expected to win a Grammy.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.