Ward E'n..."Multiple piercings may cause increased risk of lightning strike."
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Ward E'n, nationally known expert in the consequences, and risks of piercings cautions the poked on the dangers such decorations may invite. "What I'm saying is, if you have a ring or bar hanging higher than the upper lip the potential for injury by static induced lightning is 90 percent higher than the unadorned." said E'n. According to E'n, an average of 31,016 people a year are left un-struck merely because a person with piercings is standing within a 13 foot radius. Ward E'n adds". And the unfortunate lightning rod on two legs never knew what hit them!. To make matters worse, every piece of metal on the body is vaporized beyond any value."
E'n advises the intelligent highly pierced to stay indoors when stormy weather is a possibility, or clip a grounding chain to your belt loop or purse strap to reduce your risk of being zapped by 30 percent. "And step lively" Ward E'n adds with a wink.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.