Researchers Hopeful KY Lake Shark Hoax Over

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Researchers are hopeful that newly released information and the first verified photo will cause the latest round of shark hoax articles making their rounds on the Internet to soon come to a close. Researchers aren't the only ones who hope these hoax articles begin to subside, as local business owners have also feel that these "fake news" articles have affected sales right before the holiday weekend.
Late Friday afternoon researchers from the NOAA's freshwater shark division concluded that while there has been a shark living in the waters off of Grand Rivers, this creature is not capable of injuring humans, killing local unicorns, or decimating the native Bigfoot population. John Johnson, reasearch director for the FSD, revealed why: "This shark's dental hygiene makes it almost impossible for him to be responsible for the streak of incidents attributed to him." Johnson continued, "It is obvious from our research that a diet of fried foods, Mountain Dew, and chewing tobacco combined with a lack of consistent brushing and flossing have made this shark harmless to almost anyone." While harmless, boaters and fishermen who encounter the shark are encouraged to avoid feeding it anything other than sugar free food items or diet soda. Officials from the NOAA FSD have requested a team from their Megaladon division to further investigate the violent aquatic attacks on Kentucky Lake in recent weeks.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.