City of Chicago to instate tax on those wearing White Sox apparel

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Sources have confirmed that effective on July 1st of this year that the greater Chicago land area has a new tax that many are questioning while others are applauding. Business owners are now required to charge a 3 "beauty" tax on anyone wearing White Sox apparel who purchases goods or services from their establishment. A spokesman from Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel's office has said "this is long overdue". "We aren't telling anyone they can't support their favorite team, but if they do, they're gonna have to pay for it." When asked why city officials thought such measures where necessary, the spokesman replied with "Because it's just ugly". "The whole franchise is ugly. The name, the logo, the color scheme, all of it. I mean let's be real here, they can barely go an entire season without the stadium having to change it's name or a player tearing up his jersey in protest. Not many remember when the Southside of Chicago was beautiful, but it was. I realize they are 3 time World Series champs, but we need to get out of 2005 and so do they." He went on to say that the 3 tax would however be suspended on promotional days such as LGBT day. Many residents we reached out to are in support of the new tax. Cliff Miller, owner of Shop a Pop, believes this tax will help the neighborhood. "I come to work everyday and all I see is thugs, dealers, and hookers. Every damn one of them is wearing something that says White Sox on it. It's disgusting. I hope it cleans the town up." Wesley Bagen, a long time resident agrees. "It's 10 times worse when the Tigers are in town." But not all agree. Shaniqua Sharmens is against it. "First they took my phone, now they take my clothes. What's next, now I gotta get a job?" When asked what the tax would go toward, the mayor's office stated it would fund community projects aimed at cleaning up the city and rehabilitation of those in need. At this time the ACLU has no plans to file suit stating that sometimes politicians have a valid point.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.