Local Seattle Man Arrested

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“I was just shaving, I was just shaving!” Mr. Davidson said in his defense.

“Sir, your pants are down, your front seat is fully reclined, we have witnesses that say they saw a man jerking off in the library parking lot, I see some white stuff all over the seat, but it doesn’t look like shaving cream, and I don’t see a razor anywhere.” Policeman said.

“Okay, okay. I wasn’t shaving. You see—”

Mr. Davidson then admitted to pleasuring himself in the parking lot of the Seattle Public Library as well as describing the events leading up to him being caught. He told police he was at a friend’s house watching football that afternoon and on his way home he decided to stop by the library to return some library books. When he arrived at the library he had an unexpected erection that wouldn’t go away, thus preventing him from stepping out of the car. “I couldn’t get out of the car in that condition. I had to do something.” He said.

So, Mr. Davidson did what any normal man would have done in that predicament—he loaded up porn on his cell phone, reclined his seat and took care of himself right then and there (classic “Library Beat”). Unfortunately for Daviddon, a fellow library patron saw Davidson pleasuring himself in his car and notified police. Busted.

“This is the first time I have ever done anything like this, I swear. I promise I will never do it again.” Davidson pleaded to police.

“Sure, buddy.”

Davidson was charged with public indecency and booked in the King County Jail. No information regarding Davidson’s persistent erection issue, but I would imagine he might sneak a few jail “night beats” in during his short stint in county.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.