Man wanted for aggravated assault using an ice cream cone!
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Earlier this morning a white male with blue eyes, funny looking, was seen fleeing a Shell gastation in what it seem a super SLOW black VW GTI but not after he assaulted a 70 year old grandma with an ice cream cone. It has been reported that they both wanted the last pistachio ice cream cone and they fought for it. We interviewed the old lady, her name is kept private for security reasons. "He said he was gonna fight til death for that cone and I just hate Bullies so I smacked him with my purse and he grabbed the cone and threw it straight to my face but not before he took a bite, that Bastard!" She explained. Police are in the look out, it has been spotted by SAM's club reloading his diabetic ammo. Please contact your local police if you spot this very very very bad criminal.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.