Three More Great White Sharks Spotted In Portland's Willamette River

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A group of three great white sharks were spotted in the upper Willamette river near the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry by local residents this past June 24th weekend. Many were flocking to local rivers while the endured record high temperatures, and Faye Canoes, a retired food cart vendor, was spending the day on the river bank with her 2 children.

"You know at first we were pretty startled to see them, there in the water, but they didn't stay for long. They say that the Willamette's safe to swim in these days, but I dunno."

While it's true that Carcharodon carcharias, or the great white shark, lives in salt water, they're known to survive in brackish or even fresh water for certain periods of time if they're properly motivated, according to Marine Biologist at PSU, Sal Theodore Waters.

"There's actually been a steady influx of great whites in the area over the past years, and you could chalk it up to the overall gentrification that Portland's been struggling with for some time now."

Local river sharks that we spoke to expressed agreement in that sentiment, and added that they blame the influx of great whites on the popularity of the popular comedy show "Portlandia."

We asked Fayed Canoes if she knew where the 3 sharks in question from the weekend were headed.

"You know I'm not sure, it was so hot that day. I think I heard one of them saying something about getting in line at the local Salt & Straw."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.