Embittered California zoophile admits to wrong doing
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In a stunning revelation, Long Beach resident Roger Conti 48, formerly of east Peoria, Il, has come clean about his own affection for woolly vixens, namely sheep.
"I made the whole thing up" says a visibly humiliated Conti. "I couldn't face the embarrassment of my near constant lust for ewes. It's gotten so I can't leave the house, it's all I can think about. It even distracts me while I'm driving. I find myself driving to rural areas of Bakersfield wondering how I got there, memory gone, consumed with the idea of marrying a sheep."
In a near textbook case of Freudian deflection he targeted the innocent Oberlander as a scapegoat, if you will. Says Conti "I have no evidence that Pat likes sheep, although I wouldn't fault him if he did".
Mr. Conti declined to answer further questions, but the sound of bleating and breaking glass could be heard in the background as this phone interview concluded.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.