Personal Attacks Against Local Uber Driver Forces Residents to Defend Hometown Hero

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Memphis, TN -

Residents of this sleepy southern town are up in arms as local celebrity, Jack 'Omosessuale' Eastep continues to take personal attacks across all social media platforms. They point to all of the social good that Mr. Eastep has done, such as clicking like on statuses, talking down to strangers, and complaining about first world problems as signs of an elevated, 'woke' individual. "He is obviously better than his peers back in his hometown of Florence. I mean, he drives a cab for chrissakes. Only the best people in the world do that kind of job," said local hobo Critters. Not everyone is so upset. Local PETA activist, Charlene Frank's, says that they've been trying to bring Mr. Eastep to the attention of media for years. "Between his many goat girlfriends and pet chinchillas, he's been a constant thorn in our side."
Here's hoping that the mean old internet will leave this saint alone, once and for all.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.