Brecon boy goes on farming rampage!

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Ynyswen teenager Liam Allan is currently in police custody after going on a sexually charged rampage through a local farm.

After visiting the local Penycae Primary School searching for children to abduct, Allan found that the school had closed several years previous. Infuriated, Liam's (blood)lust led him to the local field, at which he works. Liam "saw how sexy the cows were and just went for it", impregnating 24 innocent female cows (and four calves for good measure). We eagerly await the birth of the Allan-cow hybrids, who will no doubt be as good looking as their father.

Local PCSO Chris told us that Liam "needs help. Lots of it. Like, right now."

When interviewed, Liam's family initially declined to comment, however when he saw our reporter outside his home in Ynyswen father Geoff Allan screamed "We're proud of you Liam wuss! See if you can get to 30 next time!"

Liam currently awaits sentencing in Swansea Magistrates Court. He is facing six months to life in prison, however probation is available if he goes out and stabs litter on the motorway while wearing an orange hi-vis vest.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.