Community Center Director arrested and charged with trafficking and distributing marijuana

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Patrice Swan (also known on the streets as "Izm"), Director of the South End Community Center in Springfield, MA., was aressted today and charged with trafficking and distributing marijuana. Swan is accused of selling large quantities of marijuana (including the very potent strand called Moon Rock) in several states. In particular federal investigators say they have evidence that Swan specifically is the marijuana dealer of choice for professional athletes (specifically NFL players). Investigators also say Swan laced the marijuana he sold to certain players (mostly players on NFC teams) with other substances purposely to negatively effect their performance and drug test results to assist AFC teams in winning games to help his gambling efforts. Swan was arrested at the home of one of his female acquaintances. Authorities say when they raided the home Swan was found having oral sex with the woman (performing an act known on the street as "eating the booty"). Ironically, when authorities raided the house music was blaring from the stereo playing the song Mad Izm by the group Channel Live (a song celebrating marijuana use). Swan posted $100,000 bail in cash (which will likely spark a tax invasion investigation). When asked to provide a statement, Swan said "weed is legal in most of the states they accusing me of selling in.........this is fake news and the media is the devil."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.