Hermitage seeking suspect for stuffing cotton balls in rectum at local Wal Mart

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 12365 Shares

Hermitage police are seeking and leads in identifying the person seen in this picture from security footage late Friday night.
Officer Brian Crinklesac said the assailant entered the Way Mart at 1275 N. Hermitage road around 3:45 am Mar 9th.
Crinklesac says the man entered the store walked to the health and beauty isle and immediately began placing several handfuls of cotton balls up his rectum. After being confronted by loss prevention the man became very confused and confrontational. It was assumed the man was under the influence, as nothing he was saying was understandable other the "74" which the man shouted several times before grabbing a My Little Pony blanket and running out of the store.
A trail of cotton balls was followed to a late model blue Ford Explorer with Ohio registration full of 4 Loco cans which are being swabbed for DNA.
Hermitage police would appreciate any help in identifying this offender, as he has done this several times.
The man has been described as being about 4'5" tall approx. 315 lbs most likely to be wearing a wig and covered with several "home made" tattoos Crinklesac says.
Please call (724) 851-1244 with any leads. There is a $23.00 reward upon capture and conviction.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.