WorldMark property under quarantine due to violent std outbreak

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WorldMark by Wyndham on S Las Vegas Blvd is under quarantine this morning. Reports say that so many employees were sleeping around that the mixture of all the STDs spread created some kind of mega-virus that causes uncontrollable vomiting from the genitals. Yes you read correctly, vomit coming from the genital area, not feces. "I don't know where it all went wrong," says one employee. "I came into work and next thing u know, someone was trying to work it. Then after a few seconds (personal record) vomit came out of it (my penis)." reports also say that even guests are being affected by the outbreak. One is dead after slipping on vaginal vomit from a sales rep. One woman adds, "My friend, well, she sells like I do, but she has no skill in selling a product whatsoever. She resorts to slobbing on knobs in exchange for either piggybacking on another salesperson's sale, or trying to finesse her own guests in front of her."
Very dark times currently going on at WorldMark these days. So far only one employee has yet to be affected. She works downstairs in the lobby. We. Met with her today for a few words. "I guess I'm lucky, everyone seems to stear clear of me maybe I'm immune to it." another adds, "yeah my daughter works downstairs and she's the only one not affected as far as I know. Very proud of her for holding back her urges which I know are there."
We spoke to one of the resort hosts on the matter. "I think that it's normal. I think we all have urges and its not wrong to follow through with them. People used to frown upon me when I would offer blowies to my owners when I tried to get the tour. Turns out, I was the one they ended up touring if u catch my drift. I made one guy so happy once he said he ways wanted to get pegged by someone with downs. Not sure what that means exactly but it was a great time either way. My husband John laughed at the idea and thought it was so ridiculous that he didn't believe the story when I told him about it. So I keep it to myself now. This isn't going on record by the way right? John would kill me"

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.