Girl, 18 shits herself in public

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A girl aged 18 was seen on CCTV wiping away what was seen to be smears of bum gravy off her pants on tuesday night in the city centre.
Police are trying to track down who the girl is and they believe she is know locally as Lauren 'Just a Dash!' Oliver. According to close friends she has recently become engrossed in shit and often takes pictures of her brown masterpieces when she has finished her dirty deed on the shitter, a.k.a the toilet. Police have said if you do bump into her be aware as she may be a danger to society. They are treating this as public exposure and will take action if she is seen again letting the turtle head out her starfish. We contacted Lauren to comment and she says 'Mate I was like 1 hour away from home and this log was not waiting any longer, it was practically touching cloth so I just had to let it go. Im Sorry if I offended anyone, but I had code brown so you got to do what you got to do. Also I am sorry to the person who left their jumper on the floor, I used it to wipe away the sticky smears.'

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.