Killarney man arrested under the suspicious of concealing 4 guns upon entering the building

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Tadgh Ryan (24) of Killcummin, Co. Kerry, was arrested today under suspicion of concealing 4 fully loaded firearms upon entering a nightclub in Cork City last night. It was reported, by 4 nuns, who had spent the majority of the night with Mr. Ryan, that his behaviour was erratic as they "feared for their safety" as he "blared and sang along to Eminem rap music, whilst brandishing a butcher knife before departing to 'get more yokes', out of his mind on something he referred to as 'A Warnerbrother' that had him 'coming up like a cunt', whatever that means". It is unknown how Tadgh, a former scholar of St. Brendans College, came into the possesion of such an arsenal of weaponary in a small town like Killarney, however has previously been known to resort to violence, after once striking a man unconscious with two spoons outside a local fast food outlet 4 years ago, leaving him brandished with the nickname 'two spoons'. Although the story may be slightly misconstrooded, we here at this proud newspaper establishment are 95 per cent sure that it is completely true.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.