Local Man Addicted to Quack, Indicted for Calling Ducks With Poor Cadence

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Authorities in Beaufort County have arrested, charged, and indicted Nathaniel Bunn Boddie of Rocky Mount, NC on 47 counts of using cadence in the wrong way. Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Portague County apprehended Boddie after years of following his footsteps along the shores of the Inner Banks of North Carolina, Boddie seemingly two steps ahead every time. The waves came crashing down for Boddie on November 1st, 2016 however, when he was heading East on Highway 264 outside of Bath, NC pulling a boat with a parody image of BlackBeard's "Jolly Roger" along the side, a hefty fine in the state of North Carolina, especially in the town of Bath; Blackbeard's final home.
Justice realized he had his man when he approached the vehicle and noticed Boddie blowing a comeback call from a hand turned duck call, manufacturer Duck Commander, declined to comment. Justice said, "I've spent a lot of my years chasing this somegun, and I knew when I approached the driver side of his SUV, I had this tickturd; nobody who calls that poorly should be allowed to duck hunt!"
Boddie, under a $50,000 bond in the Beaufort County Courthouse, held a plea deal with the judge to release him sooner than expected, something a lot of hunters feared. Local townsfolk Ray and Susanne Bledsole quoted saying, "He's such a good boy! But yeah, lock his a__ up, that duck call has to go!" Lowland residents across the river shot off fireworks Tuesday evening upon hearing the news, or it was just a Tuesday, we can't be sure.
Paula Boddie, wife of local un-legend, declined to comment on her husband's obsession with waterfowl.
With the local duck hunting season beginning next weekend, Boddie can surely find time to practice between now and then... in fact... most don't start until the night before

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.