UMass Student Pushing for Referendum to Lower Drinking Age to 16

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In Amherst, Massachusetts, a unique campaign is being spearheaded by UMass senior Geoff Grady. Grady is calling for what he believes is “the change this country needs” in lowering the age to purchase, possess, and consume alcohol to sixteen years old.


“I spend loads of time walking through the high school parking lot on the way to class and find myself talking to a lot of these kids thinking, ‘Damn these kids can definitely party.’” Grady stated during our brunch interview at the local Amherst watering hole – Stackers Pub. “The way I see it, I’m tired of spending almost a hundred dollars on alcohol every weekend trying to get these girls to come over for an absolute banger. Like, just buy it yourself and we can rage, you know?” Grady slurred out between bites of ketchup-soaked mac-n-cheese.


Upon hearing about Grady’s petition we took to the streets to see what kind of opinions people had about such a referendum. A local Amherst regional high school teacher was quoted in saying, “This is totally ridiculous. Not only do we have laws in place to prevent exactly this, but this kid is obviously too short-sighted to realize that these sixteen year-olds are taking advantage of him!” When faced with the critique, Grady stayed mostly silent until he muttered what we interpreted as “Trump Pence 2K16.” He then – while still clutching his silverware – stumbled out of the restaurant without paying.


Grady’s petition has twenty signatures so far, however, signatures 14-20 all belong to “LeBron’s hairline” in increasingly worse handwriting. It will be a topic at the upcoming town hall meeting where the UMass student will have the opportunity to make his case to the board of selectmen.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.