Gray Street's Busiest Roommate is Actually Going Out

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Julia Small, 21, of Topsfield, Massachusetts, has finally decided to go out this weekend. "I don't have lab on Friday night, so I think I might actually go to the bars," said Small, an antisocial fourth year senior at the University of Massachusetts. This news shocked Small's roommates, who state that they have never seen her outside of her apartment or the Life Sciences building.

"I never thought this moment would come," said Julia's roommate, Caitlyn Arnold. "She usually spends her nights complaining about her lack of sleep, happiness, or a social life, as well as thinking about cutting open small rodents." Arnold also added that her roommate has shown no desire to integrate herself in her new household, as she typically has her headphones in.

Small did not specify a specific bar that she was interested in attending, however hinted that she would like to check out the spoke. "The idea of going to Monkey Bar is a bit scary to me," said Julia, who does not enjoy dancing, or other fun things.

While Small going leaving her apartment this weekend might be shocking, her expansion of new horizons is exciting for everyone around her.

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This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.