An early burial for a great friend

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A Thanet gentlemen by the name of Elton Cavell has had the final send of he deserves. From being a smart, honest and loyal person to all his friends and family, his sincerity will be sadly missed. Taken at a very early age of 24, Elton, Was a fun loving, and social lad who use to love seeing his friends and playing slut hunter in their local bar, the goose. Controversy emerged when his murderer came on the scene, Katie Hopkins who is a local DCI and criminal investigator mentioned in her statement "I have never seen such sudden loss and contact from a young man of eltons age, it's safe to say he is now dead and gone. His murderer Abi Jones will be found, and will be prosecuted". Needless to say Elton has been missed by all his friends and family. A statement was raised from one of eltons friends, who go by the name of "the boysh", Bradley Hawkins mentioned "yeah well.. we use to love grabbing a cheeky Nando's on a Friday, wasn't too bad either having a saucy bevy down the goose with the lad, we found that he would randomly start dissapearing on a night out saying he needed a shit but deep down we all knew he was slowly slipping away from us to meet his murderer" such sad news here in margate tonight as the death toll of this kind is slowly on the rise.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.