Man accused of eating elderly woman's butt for YMCA membership.

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Current Johnstown resident Keyshawn Jefferson is said to have been found in the women's lockerroom of the Johnstown YMCA performing sexual acts on an elderly woman for a YMCA membership sources tell us. It is said that 21 year old Antoine Lanzendorfer and 20 year old Tyrell Brandon, both Johnstown residents, were caught peeking into the woman's lockerroom by security cameras, however when they were apprehended and questioned by YMCA ownership the story took a surprising twist. "Listen there were no woman in there and I was not being a pervert, I heard some weird noise and I look in and I just see this nigga with damn there his whole head up in this old lady, ive never seen some shit like this in my life, he was skitzin" said Tyrell Brandon to authorities. I know times can be hard in today's economy, but lets hope that this was a lesson to Keyshawn Jefferson that sometimes, even though ball is life, the membership is not always worth the shame that comes with it.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.