SoCal Scientists Discover Species of Flying Spider That’s Highly Venomous

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It’s an arachnophobe’s worst nightmare. Scientists say they have discovered a new species of spider which has developed a set of wings allowing it fly distances of up to 100 yards at a time at speeds of around 15 miles per hour. Worse yet, the spider, named Ungoliantitis (after an evil, ancient spider in the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings lore) is said to be venomous (as all spiders are to some extent) and could present a harm to humans.

Like many previously unknown species of spiders and insects, it is believed that Ungoliantitis originated in the South American rainforest. However, due to increased logging and deforestation, the spider is now moving north at a rapid pace.

The venom is said to be similar to that of black widow spiders which can cause violent, painful, full-body muscle cramps. There is currently no anti-venom, but scientists are working on developing one.

Researchers are still trying to determine the range of the spider, but preliminary reports state that the possible habitat of Ungoliantitis is South-Western United States (to include California, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, and Texas.) Scientists are asking anyone who encounters one of these arachnids to report the sighting to the Unified Spider Registry to help map the expansion and range of the species.

This report was filed by a well-known prankster, Phill Cross. You can personally thank him @phillcross

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.